Lock and load....

Tomorrow's the Temporary Hearing. That's the hearing during which the Judge reads all our pleadings and makes a temporary order that will remain in place until we go to trial. It generally sets the stage for how this mess will end - as judges don't like to be wrong.

My hope is that it will be enough of a reality check for The Idiot and he'll give up his ridiculous fight. But then, reality hasn't ever had much of an effect on The Idiot.

The last few days have been spent with the attorneys going back and forth attempting to avoid court. It's supposed to save money. I gave some offers. The Idiot gave some offers. We didn't come to an agreement. No surprise.

I'm asking for:

• sole physical custody (with liberal parenting time to be granted to The Idiot)
• $520/month child support (he refused my offers of no child support, $50/month, and $300/month so I figure I might as well ask for the maximum)
• my share of the proceeds from the sale of the marital home
• 'back' child support for the months he hasn't paid

That's about it.

He's asking for:

• Joint physical custody with our daughter alternating one week with him, one week with me....etc. (that would mean I would probably have to pay him child support)
  
• $500/month spousal maintenance from me
• I pay 1/2 of the debt he has with his father - that he borrowed after I left...I think it's around $6,000
  
• I pay his attorney fees
• He pays no child support
• He gets the proceeds from the sale of the marital home

I tell you this so tomorrow, when I blog about how it turned out - you'll have an idea of what happened.

I'm scared. Not so much because I think he'll 'win'. But because the future of my daughter will now be in the hands of a Judge who doesn't know her....who doesn't love her. I tried everything I could think of to avoid this - but it could not be done. Not with The Idiot.

I'm scared because if The Idiot won't see reason, even after the Judge makes an order, I have a really long way to go before this is over.

But I'm not too scared. I believe what I'm doing is the right thing for my daughter. The Idiot has sent a few emails over the past several days asking me how I can be so cruel to him. Asking me why I want to control him. I wish he understood that I don't care enough about him to be cruel or try to control him. I was over him a long time before I left him. And I've been gone a long time now.

If you wouldn't mind - I could use all the good vibes you can spare. Prayers, voodoo against The Idiot, positive vibes....whatever your thing is - share a little with me tomorrow morning.

I would really appreciate it. Sincerely.

Thanks.

So as I rocked my daughter to sleep...

....and pondered the troubles of the world while singing 'This Old Man', as I so often do, Valentine's Day came to mind.

There are multiple points of view regarding Valentine's Day. I'm wondering what, if anything, you fine readers think.

Forget the historical slant - patron saint of lovers. We'll just let that one be.

In my adult travels - I've dealt with people of two schools of thought. One of them being that Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love and each other; the other being that it's a holiday created by Hallmark to sell cards and should be ignored.

You know - so Hallmark doesn't make any profits.

Drat. I probably just gave my opinion away there. Darn it all - now your answers might be biased.

I guess I don't really care if greeting card companies have an ulterior motive and really aren't thinking about my heart when they create cards. I think any day that's set aside to be celebratory of your partner and treat them with extra attention - that's a good thing.

While it would be nice if we did that every day - we don't. Well, maybe some of you do. I've never been that great at it consistently. I'm more a feast or famine giver of affection. (Perhaps, something to do with my partner choices....or maybe it's just me.)

So I'm a fan of any day that makes people happy. Even if there is a lot of pink involved.

And while this Valentine's Day will pass without much note (even my girl will be with The Idiot) - I look forward to the future.

What d'ya say?